Each month, on the first of the month, I try to write a religious/spiritual themed post. The purpose of that is to help my readers (that’s you) understand a little more about who I am and what my beliefs are. There are a few other bloggers of my religion (Mormon) who do this same thing. You can find links to their posts at the bottom of this one. If you’d like to read other religious type posts I’ve written, click here.
I wrote this post on marriage a little while ago, and I was hesitant to post it because of some things going on in my extended family. I wrote it before any of those “things” happened, but I just didn’t know if I should post it or not. I decided I should. One of the main reasons I thought I should is because my little brother just announced that he is getting married. I am so excited for him and his fiance. I am ecstatic to have her as a new sister. I’ve only met her once, but I know that the two of them will be great together. That being said, I thought I’d post this in their honor 🙂
You wanna hear my thoughts on marriage? Here’s my thought: Marriage is hard. I have a brother in law (who I know sometimes reads this blog. Thanks for letting me use you as an example in my post without knowing it. Love ya!) who used to think that if he got married, all of his problems would be gone. I remember him specifically saying if he only had a wife, he wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Guess what. He got married. While I know him and his wife are happy, he found out pretty quickly that marriage. is. hard. You know where I think he got this idea that marriage would be all bliss and amazingness? Disney.
Think about it. In all the fairy tales, the princess gets married and lives happily ever after. Heather over at My Husband Ate All My Ice Cream just wrote a post about this. The movies never show what happens after the marriage. The honeymoon phase only lasts so long and then real life starts. There are bills, decisions to make, food to cook, a house to clean, socks to pick up off the ground, the list is endless. While some days seem like a fairy tale, and I often wake up thinking “how did I get so lucky to be married to this guy,” it’s not all happily every aftery.
Being a Mormon, I don’t believe that it’s good to live with someone before marriage. Because of that, when I got married, it was a head first into this thing kind of deal. My husband and I had been living 200 miles apart before we got married, then one day we were living together, in the same house, in the same room even. It was a steep learning curve, for sure.
I don’t want to go about airing our dirty laundry, but we do have plenty of it. We have hard times, just like every other marriage. Whenever I see a couple that seems perfect, I immediately get suspicious. Most of the time, when you get to know the couple well enough, you see that they have the same dirty laundry you do, they just hide it in different places.
I heard a quote awhile ago that has really helped me get through some rough marriage spots. I’m not sure the exact quote or who said it but it goes like this: “Maybe marriage isn’t meant to make us happy. Maybe marriage was designed to make us holy.”
Let that sink in a minute.
I’m going to say it again, bolded this time.
Maybe marriage isn’t meant to make us happy. Maybe marriage was designed to make us holy
So, with that in mind, lets stop pretending that marriages are supposed to be perfect. Because they aren’t. Let’s stop getting divorced whenever things get rough. Relationships are hard. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Relationships are hard! It’s the hard times that allow us to appreciate the sweet times. It’s the problems we struggle through that give us the sweet satisfaction that comes when those problems are solved. Instead of getting divorced or separating when problems arise, work through them! Come out victorious on the other end, together.
Here’s another quote: “Marriage is choosing to fall in love with the same person, everyday.” Some days, you will fail. Some days, you won’t be in love with your spouse. I’m not saying you won’t love him (or her), but what I’m saying is that being in love with someone takes work. It takes getting over little flaws (sometimes big flaws) and loving anyway.
I believe that this life is setup to be a test as well as a practice for us. I believe that one of our main purposes in this life is to become more like Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I can think of no better way to achieve this goal than to commit to being with another person for the rest of forever, no matter what. Sickness, health, poorness, wealth, even if he never picks up his underwear off the bathroom floor. You commit to serve another person for your entire life, and that person makes the same commitment to you. You accept them, flaws and all. You work through problems and build a life together. What an amazing way to become more like our Heavenly Father.
I’ve only been married a little less than four years. I got married when I was 19 years old. Many people say that’s way too young, but I disagree. I’ve been able to learn and grow with my husband. We have come so far together and are stronger now then I ever imagined we’d be. I can’t wait to see where we are twenty, thirty, forty years from now.
If you’d like to read another churchyish post, head on over to Dreaming About Someday.
Do you have any awesome marriage advice? I’d love to hear it.Share