Mother’s Day is such an awesome holiday. Every day should be Mother’s Day. Seriously. Wound’t it be awesome if Mother’s got the recognition they deserved, every day? I personally LOVE being a mom. I didn’t realize when I was growing up how much I would like it. I didn’t really play with dolls, I only had one younger brother, so I didn’t do a lot of nurturing in my early years. I babysat when I got older, but I didn’t love it. I always thought I would go to film school in New York and have some fabulous job somewhere. I never thought I would make the choice to stay home and be a full time mommy.
Like most women who become mothers, whether by choice or not, I often wonder if I’m doing everything right. I wonder if I’m good enough for my kids. I doubt my abilities all the time. Every decision from deciding to have a child to what to name the child to what to feed the child to how to dress the child has the potential to be an emotionally draining choice to make. What if I don’t nurse my child and he has attachment problems and ends up with autism? What if I don’t use cloth diapers and I end up destroying the entire world? What if I feed my child too early and she ends up allergic to everything? What if I give my child vaccinations and she ends up with problems her whole life? What if I don’t vaccinate my child and she comes down with a disease that could have been prevented? What if I dress my little girl too girly and she ends up resenting me?
I could go on. And don’t tell me that I’m over reacting, because I know any one of you who are mothers (or fathers) have had every one of these thoughts at one point or another. I feel like parenting is under attack in so many ways in our world right now. It starts with the idea that children are a hassle, they are a thing you do after you do everything else you want to do, or a thing you don’t do at all. People are convinced that they just “aren’t meant to have children” or that children will ruin their way of living. That’s the first attack.
The attacks don’t stop after you make the decision to have a child. Before the child even gets to this world, there are people who will make you doubt your parenting skills before you even get to practice. If you tell people that you are planning on nursing, they tell you why you shouldn’t. The same goes if you tell them you are planning on using formula. When you tell people you are going to have a natural birth, you hear all about how horrible that is going to be. If you tell them you are going to use an epidural, you get to hear all about how bad those drugs are for your baby.
Do you see what I’m getting at here? It’s no wonder that so many mothers doubt their parenting abilities. Everywhere you turn, there is someone telling you that you are doing something wrong. I have one thing I want to say to you.
You are a good parent.
I may not know you personally, but I do know that if you love your child and are doing what you can to show that love to your child, you are a good mom. Don’t worry about the fact that your three year old isn’t potty trained yet or that your six year old can’t read. Who cares if your five year old still sucks her thumb? So what if your house isn’t cleaned? The dirty dishes don’t care if they don’t get done.
Remember what’s important: you love your child and you are showing your child that love in the best way you know how. Yes, other things are important, but not as much as we think. So stop freakin’ out, mamma. You’re awesome. You were meant to be a mother and no one can be a better parent to your child than you.
Remember this when a new mother asks for advice. Give her advice, but remind her that she has all the tools she needs to be an amazing mother already. It’s what she was created for. No one can be a better mother to her child than she can.
There. I’m done with that little rant/pep talk. I hope you have a wonderful mother’s day.
**Quick shout out to my own mamma. You’re amazing and I love you. Thank you for doing all you did to raise me and my siblings. And another shout out to my mamma in law. Thank you for taking me in as one of your own. Happy Mother’s Day.
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